Guardatevi dai falsi profeti (HTTYD-oneshot)
by vala411
Summary: (Trouble/Lost in Paradise AU) Astrid gets into some trouble while vacationing in Italy. What might happen next?


**Guardatevi dai falsi profeti**

 **AN: Inspired by the song "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor (1978), my trip to Italy, and way too many Hallmark movies (I might be addicted). The title, translated from Italian, means 'Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, and inwardly are ravening wolves.'**

Astrid let out a choked sob as she pulled her beige coat further around her as she was being pelted by heavy rain. This was not how she had expected her vacation to go. The dark clouds hanging over the city of Naples perfectly represented her mood, lonely, miserable, and about to break down after the screaming match she had this afternoon. A single black suitcase rolled behind her on the wet uneven pavement of the Via Duomo. Others were hurrying to avoid the rain, some heading into the apartment buildings that stood tall on either side of the street. Astrid just kept on walking as another sob threatening to escape. She soon came to one of the main streets, Corso Umberto, the street sign read. She remembered the clerk at the frontdesk of her hotel telling her that it was the main shopping street in Naples. Shops lined the street as cars drove by, splashing some water on the sidewalk.

'I need to find a place to stay.' She finally decided as she walked down the street. Her heels clicked against the cobblestones as she looked around. All she could see were shops, but no hotels. She approached one of the stores and asked. "Excuse me….. Eh… Scusame….." She tried to remember some of the Italian she had picked up. When she was in Rome it wasn't much of a problem because almost everyone spoke English, but out here in Naples, it was mostly Italian. "Do you know where I can find a hotel? Un hotel?" She tried.

The lady behind the counter nodded and then stood up to point to the left. The Italian that flowed from her was a bit hard for Astrid to pick up but she got the gist of it that she needed to keep following the Main street. Astrid thanked her and started walking in that direction. It was nearly a three minute walk, having almost reached Piazza Bovio when she spotted the small three star hotel. She quickly hurried inside and up to the front desk. "Scusame…." She said to the man sitting at the front desk. "Do you have any vacancies?"

"Sorry Miss." the man said. "We are full. Most hotels in the city are. It's the high season."

Astrid mentally cursed. "Not even for one night?" She just needed a place to rest and cool off before deciding what to do next. She couldn't head back to her old hotel after what happened. If she saw that bastard's smug look again then she might just commit bloody murder. With a sigh and resignation she left the hotel lobby and found her way back on the street. The rain had picked up and she pulled her coat closer.

Astrid dragged her suitcase behind her as she started looking for another place. She passed a street sign that read Via Depretis before blinking owlishly. A car had just raced passed her, completely drenching her from head to toe. Her coat had already been wet but now even the clothes underneath it were soaked. She could feel the water seeping into her jeans and also into her shoes. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Astrid shouted in frustration as she couldn't take it anymore. She didn't care that she was on the sidewalk now. She began shouting her frustrations to the heavens. Venting out all her repressed anger at the situation she now found herself in.

"Uhm….. excuse me miss. Are you alright?" Someone tentatively asked.

She whirled around, her eyes red from crying, and shouted "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE I'M ALL RIGHT!"

The stranger held his hands out in a supplicating manner. "It looks like you're stressed." he mumbled before handing Astrid the umbrella that he had open.

"Thanks, I just had the most awful day of my life." She rasped, still heaving from the shouting she had done. "But I'm already wet. I don't think an umbrella will help now."

"How about some food?" The auburn haired stranger offered with a chuckle at Astrid's skeptical look.

"Do you offer food to every woman who is shouting her frustrations out on the street?" Astrid asked suspiciously as she lifted a brow. She looked the man up and down, lanky, some muscle, and a mop of auburn hair. 'I can take him if he tries anything.' She thought.

"Not to every woman." The stranger chuckled. "Just the one shouting her lungs out in front of my parents' pizzeria. I'm Hiccup by the way. Hiccup Haddock."

"Oh" Astrid said as she looked to the left and saw that she was indeed in front of a small pizzeria. Several patrons and a big man with a bushy red beard holding a steaming hot pizza inside were watching her curiously and she blushed at what had come out of her mouth just a few minutes ago. "I'm Astrid, Astrid hofferson." She suddenly sounded very shy.

"So….. The rain won't be letting up soon. So why don't you come in and dry off." Hiccup suggested. Astrid nodded, anything was better than standing out in the rain, cold and wet.

* * *

 _-Flashback-_

 _Astrid and her fiance Eret had just checked into their hotel near Piazza Mercato. They had previously been in Rome for two days sightseeing. They then took a train to Naples where they were supposed to visit some of the sights before heading back to the States. Eret had proposed the romantic getaway trip a few months back and Astrid had jumped at the chance to spend it with him. They had work schedules which didn't often overlap. She thought everything was perfect and it was until that afternoon._

 _The train ride from Rome to Naples took about two hours. They walked the rest of the way to the hotel which wasn't so far from the station near Corso Garibaldi. It started raining not long after they had checked in. The grey clouds had been ominous even from the station._

 _Astrid had flopped down on the bed with a happy giggle while Eret told her he was going out to the balcony to smoke for a bit. She unlocked her phone and looked at some of the pictures she had taken the past two days. They had visited many places around the city. The Colosseum, the Pantheon, Piazza Venezia were some of the few to name. She found a particularly beautiful picture of her and Eret at Castel Sant'Angelo and got up to show him. She'd make a postcard of it and mail it to her uncle Finn and a couple of close friends. When she got close to the sliding door leading to the balcony she heard that he was talking to someone on his phone. She turned around to leave and ask him later when something he said caught her attention._

" _Haha, don't worry. Why do you think I took her on this trip?" Eret's crisp British accent cut through the sound of raindrops that were falling on the rooftops. Astrid frowned as she inched closer to the sliding door. "I'm going to take her out to a nice dinner then spontaneously suggest that we get married here. It will be so romantic." He laughed._

" _Yes yes. Don't worry. I'm not getting attached. She's honestly the most gullible woman I ever met. She actually thinks that we're in love!"_

 _Astrid frowned as her grip on her phone tightened. Eret was none the wiser of the fury that he had awakened as he continued on with the conversation, his back turned to her as he was smoking a cigarette. "I'll feed her some sob story about how I want to protect her assets and have her sign a prenup. Once we're married I can finally claim dear ole' mommy's estate and then divorce her afterwards." he laughed again. "Don't worry mate everything is set, I'll have more money than I can count. I'll even have you as my best ma-Oh crap!" Eret had just then turned around and his eyes widened comically upon seeing his 'beloved' fiance standing behind him with a look of unbridled fury on her face that would have set any sane man, animal, monster, and probably Loki scrambling to get out of the country._

" _Darling…. I can explain." Eret began only to be met with a punch to the face. Astrid held nothing back. She proceeded to pick up a vase of Pelargonium, small red Italian flowers, that had been placed next to the TV and chucked it at Eret's head. "GULLIBLE! GULLIBLE! I'LL SHOW YOU GULLIBLE YOU TROLL FACED WRETCHED EXCUSE FOR A MAN. HOW DARE YOU TRY TO PLAY ME!" Astrid began screaming before she walked over to grab her still packed suitcase. "TWO YEARS! I GAVE YOU TWO YEARS AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING!" During her tirade she took off her engagement ring and threw it on the ground._

" _Darling… sweetheart… please wait!" Eret tried to stop her. "Come on babe we can work this out."_

" _There is nothing to work out!" Astrid shouted back. "You can forget about marrying me and you can forget about your precious inheritance! You used me! Do you actually think that I would forgive you! There is nothing to work out! You're damn lucky I'm not anywhere near Uncle Finn's axe!" She warned with a deadly gleam in her eyes._

" _Where do you think you're going!" Eret asked as he saw her heading for the door._

" _Away from you!"_

" _Where are you going to go!" He shouted back. "You know no one in this city!" Astrid slammed the door shut with a loud bang but she could still hear her now ex-fiance shouting from behind it "You're going to come crawling back to this room sooner or later Astrid!" You hear me! Where else are you going to go!"_

 _-End Flashback-_

Astrid took a bite of the Pizza Ortolana that had been placed in front of her by Hiccup's mother as she recounted the tale that had led to her shouting her heart out in front of their pizzeria. Several of their patrons made no show of listening in. Some with shocked looks, other with looks of fury and pity.

"Avrebbe dovuto prenderlo a calci all'inguine." An elderly woman muttered. Astrid looked at her quizzically. Hiccup sheepishly scratched the back of his head and whispered "She said you should have kicked him in the groin."

"I very much agree." Hiccup's mother, Valka, chimed in as she set some strange chilled shot glass of yellow liquid in front of Astrid.

"What's this?" Astrid asked curiously.

"Limoncello." Valka answered. "It's an after-dinner alcoholic drink. Honey, I think you could use some." She then tapped the large bottle in her hand. "Call me if you want some more."

"Uhm…." Astrid raised a brow but nodded. She had learned upon stepping into the pizzeria that Hiccup and his parents were from the States. Valka and Stoick settled in Naples and opened up a pizzeria some years ago and Hiccup comes to visit them every Spring. She proceeded to take a swig of the liquor and then mumbled "This is some good stuff."

"So what are ya going to do now?" Stoick asked as he took a Pizza Margarita out of the oven.

"I think I'll probably head home in the morning." Astrid frowned as she looked at her phone. There were several texts and calls from Eret. She deleted them all promptly.

"You know….." Valka began as she shot her husband a certain look. "We have an extra room upstairs. And you're in Italy. Be a shame to miss anything since you're already here."

"I...eh… don't want to impose."

"It's no imposition at all lass." Stoick laughed. "Any girl who can call a man an array of colorful Viking swear words is stellar in my book."

"You heard all those!" Astrid blushed.

"Aye, some were very creative." Valka added before turning to her son. "Hiccup' you're free tomorrow right? Why not take the car and show Astrid Naples and the rest of the Amalfi coast." She suggested. "You're practically a local now with how much you visit us."

"If that is alright with Astrid." Hiccup told her as he raised his brow at his mother who was now refilling Astrid's shot glass. "But I'd be delighted to take her on a tour."

"Well…. Ehm…..if it's no imposition." Astrid mumbled. She did want to take her mind off that no good Eret and Hiccup and his family was really nice.

"None at all." Hiccup told her as Astrid nodded before downing the shot glass.

The next morning Astrid woke up and had breakfast with the Haddock's who lived above the pizzeria. Her eyes widened when Hiccup showed her the car his parents owned. It was a vintage cherry red Alfa Romeo.

Astrid had the wind in her hair as they cruised around the Amalfi coast that day with Hiccup showing her all the sights from Positano to Ravello. As they headed back to Naples that evening a very familiar song was played on the radio. She smiled as she listened to the lyrics of 'I will survive', a song that she could agree with. She gave Hiccup a smile as they cruised along. She had made a new friend, and maybe more. Time would tell.

 **-The End-**


End file.
